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Behind the Fish Counter — Volume One cover
From Hank Brandt · Fish Store Secrets on YouTube

Behind the Fish Counter

60 lessons from forty years behind one fish counter
“The fish don't care what the bottle promises. They care what's actually in the water.”— something Walter Brandt said behind the counter so often Hank started finishing the sentence for him

Sixty short lessons from forty years behind one fish counter: chlorine versus chloramine, cloudy water that just needs three days, a light timer that starves algae, kitchen food the fish actually eat, and how to read a sick fish before you treat it. No bottle the counter never needed to sell you.

40 YEARS BEHIND ONE COUNTERONE FAMILY STORE, ONE TOWNTHOUSANDS OF FIXES TALKED OVER THE COUNTER
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PDF · 159 pages · 60 illustrated lessons · read on phone, tablet or computer, or print it

60Numbered lessons
6Parts
40 yearsbehind one counter
191Problems in the index
30 daysMoney-back guarantee
Sound familiar?

For the tank that won't clear up

This is for the Tuesday night you're standing over a cloudy tank with a test strip in one hand and three bottles in the other, trying to remember which one the counter actually needed to sell you. It's for the fish you've lost twice already and don't want to lose a third time.

What you needThe plain list — kitchen, hardware store, nothing from a locked cabinet.
How it goesThe steps in order, numbered, so you're never guessing what comes next.
Why it worksThe reason behind the step, so you're following logic, not just orders.
How people ruin itThe common mistakes, named, each with the sign it's happening and the fix.
Where it doesn't holdThe exceptions stated plainly — bettas, goldfish, well water, planted tanks.
What makes it different

Built for the day it goes wrong

Look up the failure, not the lesson

The back of the book indexes 191 symptoms — cloudy water, clamped fins, white dust — each one pointing you to the lesson that explains it, so you search by what you're seeing, not by a chapter you'd have to already know.

209 mistakes, named

Every lesson lists the specific ways people get it wrong, each paired with the sign you're doing it and the fix — not a general warning, the actual mistake, written down.

A drawing for every lesson

Sixty lessons, sixty drawings — what a bloom, a clamped fin, or a correctly sized filter actually looks like, not just words trying to describe it.

185 numbers you can check

A reference section in back holds the doses, gallons, temperatures, and timings in one place, so you're not flipping back through six sections hunting for a figure you already read once.

THE ARITHMETIC

What the bottle aisle costs over a year

A year of bottled algae remover, stress coat, and flake food for one or two tanks typically runs somewhere around $80 to $120 at a pet counter. Most of what this book teaches — a light timer, blanched vegetables, frozen seafood already in the freezer, a quarantine tote instead of a hospital tank — replaces a good chunk of that for the cost of groceries you're buying anyway.

These are typical figures from ordinary pet-store and grocery prices, and they'll vary by store, tank size, and what's already in your kitchen.

What you'll be able to do

After the book

  • Size and set up a first tank that's big enough to forgive a mistake.
  • Tell chlorine from chloramine and dose tap water the right way every time, not by guessing.
  • Read cloudy, green, or brown water and know which one needs nothing at all.
  • Starve algae with a light timer and the right plants instead of reaching for a bottle.
  • Feed from the kitchen and freezer and know what's actually making a sick fish sick before treating it.
VOLUME ONE · SIX SECTIONS

From the first tank to the twelfth mistake

Sixty lessons in six sections, in roughly the order Hank would walk you through them leaning on the counter — starting before you own a single fish and ending with the mistakes he watched people make most.

Part OneBefore You Buy a Single FishTank size, the lid, tank mates, which gadgets earn their place, and the checklist to run before a single fish goes in the water.
Part TwoTap Water and the CycleWhat's really in your tap, how much dechlorinator to use, why a tank needs weeks before it's ready, and the swings that shock a fish.
Part ThreeWater That Stays ClearReading cloudy water by its color, changing water the right way, keeping a filter clean without killing it, and running without one.
Part FourAlgae Without ChemicalsCutting algae at the light and the feeding bowl, the plants and snails that do the work, and beating black beard and hair algae without a bottle.
Part FiveFeeding From Your KitchenPortions, fasting, vegetables, frozen seafood, garlic, fry food, and the truth about color food, all from the kitchen.
Part SixWhy Fish Die and the Cheap CuresReading a sick fish, the quarantine tote, heat and salt and methylene blue done right, five easy shrimp, and the plants that clean as they grow.
From inside the book

Every lesson has a drawing

Sixty lessons, sixty drawings, each one showing what the problem or the fix actually looks like, not just describing it in words.

Lesson 6 drawing
Lesson 6 · page 18 · Seven Overpriced Gadgets to Skip
Lesson 16 drawing
Lesson 16 · page 42 · How Long Cycling Really Takes
Lesson 26 drawing
Lesson 26 · page 65 · Soap Never Touches a Tank
Lesson 36 drawing
Lesson 36 · page 89 · Snails and Shrimp That Clean for Free
Lesson 46 drawing
Lesson 46 · page 115 · Freezing Homemade Fish Food
Lesson 56 drawing
Lesson 56 · page 137 · When to Call a Vet
A page from the bookA page from the bookA page from the book
WHY THIS GOT WRITTEN DOWN
"Somebody ought to type it up before it ends up in a dumpster."

My dad opened that store in 1958, and by the time I took the register in 1978 I'd already answered the same ten questions a thousand times apiece.

I started keeping a notebook behind the register, nothing fancy, just so I'd stop repeating myself out loud all day and start pointing at a page.

Over the years it grew into index cards taped inside the cash drawer, then a binder regulars used to ask to borrow for a weekend.

When I closed the store in 2018, a regular named Carol asked what was going to happen to all that paper.

I told her I didn't know. She said somebody ought to type it up before it ends up in a dumpster.

It took the better part of two years, mostly because I kept stopping to argue with my own old handwriting.

My father never wrote a word of it down himself. He just said it, over and over, until it was in me the way it's in this book now.

I figure if I'd had this notebook at nine years old sweeping that floor, I'd have broken a lot fewer tanks.

— Hank

WHO'S TALKING

Hank Brandt

Hank Brandt

Hank Brandt was born in 1956 in the apartment above the store his father ran in Marion Falls, Ohio, and he was feeding the stock tanks down there by age nine. He took over the register at twenty-two, in 1978, when his father Walter's heart gave out, and ran Brandt's Aquarium Supply for the next forty years.

He closed the doors in 2018, sold the building, and kept six tanks running at home under one bulb, apron still on out of habit more than need. Over four decades he talked more customers out of the medicine and algae-remover aisle than he ever bothered counting — somewhere past a few thousand, by his own guess.

His voice is plain and a little gruff. He calls you friend or neighbor and explains things like he's got all the time in the world, leaning on a counter that, these days, only exists in his memory.

Made with AI — so you know what you're buyingHank Brandt is an AI-generated character, the host of the YouTube channel of the same name. The host, the videos and the book's illustrations are made with AI. The methods are real, and every number that bears on safety was checked against official guidance.

“The fish don't care what the bottle promises. They care what's actually in the water.”

All 60

What's inside

    Before You Buy a Single Fish

  1. 1The Tank You Actually Need
  2. 2Goldfish Need More Room
  3. 3The Lid You Skipped
  4. 4Picking Tank Mates That Fit
  5. 5Five Gadgets Worth Buying
  6. 6Seven Overpriced Gadgets to Skip
  7. 7Choosing the Right Filter Size
  8. 8Betta Care Basics
  9. 9Heater Basics That Matter
  10. 10The Setup Checklist

    Tap Water and the Cycle

  1. 11Chlorine Is Not Chloramine
  2. 12Dosing by the Gallon
  3. 13Can You Use Rainwater?
  4. 14Softened Water and Your Tank
  5. 15The Cycle Nobody Sees
  6. 16How Long Cycling Really Takes
  7. 17Testing the Water That Matters
  8. 18Oxygen in the Water
  9. 19Avoiding Sudden Temperature Swings
  10. 20Why Chasing pH Backfires

    Water That Stays Clear

  1. 21Cloudy White Is a Bloom
  2. 22Green Water Is Sunlight
  3. 23Brown Water Is Tannins
  4. 24Grey Dust Is Not Dirt
  5. 25Rinsing Filter Media Correctly
  6. 26Soap Never Touches a Tank
  7. 27The Cartridge Trap
  8. 28Changing Water the Right Way
  9. 29When the Filter Stops Working
  10. 30House Plant Roots That Clean Water

    Algae Without Chemicals

  1. 31The Light Timer Fix
  2. 32Feed Less, Grow Less Algae
  3. 33Plants That Starve Algae
  4. 34Diagnosing Dying Aquarium Plants
  5. 35Easy Plants Without Soil
  6. 36Snails and Shrimp That Clean for Free
  7. 37Blackout Cure for Green Water
  8. 38Black Beard Algae Without Chemicals
  9. 39Curing Hair Algae for Good
  10. 40Algae Eaters Worth Buying

    Feeding From Your Kitchen

  1. 41Two Minutes and No More
  2. 42The Blanched Vegetable Plate
  3. 43One Day Without Food
  4. 44Frozen Seafood Night
  5. 45Egg Yolk for Fry
  6. 46Freezing Homemade Fish Food
  7. 47Boosting Color With Kitchen Food
  8. 48Feeding Platies, Mollies, and Guppies
  9. 49Garlic for a Fish That Won't Eat
  10. 50Mosquito Larvae and Free Protein

    Why Fish Die and the Cheap Cures

  1. 51Reading a Sick Fish
  2. 52The Quarantine Tote
  3. 53Heat and Air for Ich
  4. 54Salt, Only When It's Safe
  5. 55Using Methylene Blue Safely
  6. 56When to Call a Vet
  7. 57Why Fish Die One by One
  8. 58Treating Pop-Eye at Home
  9. 59Floating the Bag Right
  10. 60The Twelve Mistakes I Saw Most
Straight answer

Who this book is for

It's for you if

  • You're 55 or better, running one or two freshwater tanks, and you keep losing fish you didn't expect to lose.
  • You've stood at a counter holding a bottle and wondered if you actually needed it.
  • Your water keeps going cloudy, green, or brown and you can't tell if that's an emergency or nothing at all.
  • You'd rather feed and treat your tank with what's already in your kitchen and garage than buy another product off the shelf.
  • You're coming back to the hobby after years away and the water-chemistry talk online loses you inside the first paragraph.
  • You want one book you can flip through at the tank instead of forty videos that all disagree with each other.

It's not for you if

  • You keep saltwater or reef tanks — this book is freshwater only, start to finish.
  • You want deep instruction on CO2 injection and planted-tank scaping — it's mentioned once, in the limits of a light lesson, and left there.
  • You want an app or a video course to walk you through it live — this is a book you read, mark up, and keep by the tank.
Before you buy

Questions

What do I get?

One PDF: Behind the Fish Counter, 60 lessons across six sections, with 60 drawings, a 191-item symptom index, and a 185-number reference section in back.

How do I get it after I pay?

The checkout page takes the payment and emails you the PDF directly. No account to set up, no app, no shipping to wait on.

Can I print it?

Yes. It's yours to print at home or at a copy shop for your own use at the tank.

Is Hank a real person?

No. Hank Brandt is an AI-generated character built for this channel. The methods, the numbers, and the forty-years-behind-a-counter voice are drawn from real fishkeeping practice and checked for accuracy — the man telling it is fiction.

Is the advice in here safe?

It leans toward plain water and low-chemical fixes throughout, with salt and methylene blue used only where the book says it's safe to, and a clear point where it tells you to stop and call a vet instead (lesson 56). It isn't a substitute for veterinary care when a fish actually needs it.

What if it isn't useful to me?

Thirty days, full refund, no argument. Email the receipt and say it wasn't for you.

How do I pay?

Through the checkout page on this site. It handles the card and sends the book straight to your email.

Sixty lessons, one counter, no upsell.

Everything in here is what Hank would've told you for free if you'd stood at the counter long enough to ask.

Get the lesson book60 illustrated lessons · PDF
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